Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lying is Selfish. Period.

When I think of lying, a few things (and people) come to mind! We all know liars, and whether we admit it or not, WE all lie. Liars come in just about every kind, no matter gender or race or age or anything else, no one is excluded. There are the lies that get us out of trouble or help us avoid certain situations. We'll lie to authority in a minute to save our behinds! Lies help us sometimes, they can be affective and that is why we utilize them. We lie to spare people's feelings because we know the truth hurts so we withhold our true thoughts and feelings or even another's to prevent hurt. We exaggerate, to make a story more colorful or entertaining or more convincing. We lie to make ourselves look better or seem better for whatever reason. We lie to come up on something, whether it be money or sex or a person or a job. We lie to our significant others because we're doing things that we know we're not supposed to be doing. And last, but not least, because these are the worst liars that there are...and I refuse to make this a WE situation because these people are horrible...
They're the people who will call you out of the blue to tell you a totally made up story, or volunteer lies without even a question asked that they feel pressured to lie about. We all have those people in our lives that no matter what they say, even if we seen it with our own eyes, we can't believe them. You never understand why they're lying because there was really no logical reason or personal gain that could come out of the lie. These people frustrate you! You can't, don't, and won't deal with these people...or will you? You tend to avoid them by all means...or do you? Why can't we put up with a lying friend or family member but we'll stand by a lying spouse? I have a cousin and a friend that I can't deal with because their whole lives are a lie, but I dealt with a horrible liar for a while. He volunteered lies with or without a question asked by me. All of our time was spent with me calling him a liar and him saying "you think I'm always lying", but he was. When someone believed him, I would be shocked in my heart (lol). My aunt Mimi once posted this:

"I don't lie because people only lie when they're scared, and I ain't scared of nothing."

When our significant other(s) lie to us, do we somehow get a high out of it? Satisfaction, even? Do we feel like they are scared of us? Or do we get a feeling like they care enough about us to lie in order to spare our feelings or make us feel good? Does our "boo" lying to us give us a sense of grandeur? If so, let me reroute your thinking: No matter what someone feels they are lying for, in their subconscious they are lying for PERSONAL GAIN. So, no, they're not lying to spare your feelings, they're lying to keep their ass out of trouble so they can continue to be happy and get their needs fulfilled. We can't ever forget that a lie is selfish. Can't deny it either! Someone can tell theirself that they're lying to protect their friend from hurt, you're not, you just don't want to be the bad don't want to do the dirty work. You're avoiding the situation no matter how much you want to deny it. SELFISH. A lie has and always will be for personal gain. There is the exception: legal diagnosis, lying diseases:

-Pseudologia fantastica: a term applied by psychiatrists to the behavior of habitual (by habit) or compulsive (uncontrollable) lying

-Mythomania: condition where there is an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating

That's a whole different argument because few people are actually legally diagnosed. Something to think about is that studies show that it takes longer to tell a lie than to tell the truth and it's more work to lie and the extra problems and situations created just adds to that stress. The point is that if you're lying, it's usually because you're doing something you're not supposed to. WHY LIE?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I passed the 500 views mark. I'm like...speechless right now. I truly love you guys and thank you for the support! <3

Growing, Growing, GROWN!

The rate of maturity/growth is different for every person. It's a case-by-case basis kind of thing and sometimes it purely us that promotes growth within ourselves and other times it's circumstances. Either way, it's good. It's what we're supposed to do in life: BE BETTER. One of my best friends, Lashay, once had a status that said something like "I learn something new everyday and if you don't learn something new everyday then kill yaself" or "what are you hear for?" something along those lines (lol). Though I thought it was a bit harsh, it was 100% real! What did you take out of today, how did you expand your mind? Challenge your thinking? How did you broaden your horizons? What was your contribution to your success today? How did you grow? There are days when I can't pinpoint my growth and then I'll hear or see something that I once laughed at and/or thought lightly of and my heart won't let me entertain it and sometimes it's hard to not be disgusted. How do we get here? Is it our own will? Are we going to sleep with the thoughts of a better us or is it coming with age? Maybe it' experience that is maturing us or maybe the more we learn, the more sense we develop. Maybe it's your kid or another loved one that gives you that feeling that you're doing it for them, you want to be better for them. The point I am trying to make is that you get to that place when the only opinions matter are the ones that need to matter. Does that mean an older person is bullet-proof? No! But they know when to fight and when to walk away. One thing I struggle with is my temper and my lack of a filter on my mouth-piece most of the time. I am the nicest person at first, and as long as someone is good to me, I am good to them but I can't stand someone getting smart with me. When a person gets smart, it's over for them because I will dig into their life! But now, I sometimes think how far words can go and what an argument can turn into. Is every smart comment worth a fight? Or is the person that can let some words slide (due to lack of relevance) the real winner? I know that words can cut deeper than a knife and there are times I use this to my advantage but when are we independent of others' opinions enough to be able to ignore a few words and not care what other people have to say about it? We are in this age where Facebook is mostly indirect statuses, and a subtweet on Twitter is normal behavior, where cyber-fighting is condoned and these same "keyboard villains" will stand next to you in person and say not one single word. How serious can you take someone who is more dangerous with a mouse and a keyboard ten miles away but in person you would never know that they had a problem with you? How many marks or bruises did you get from some words spat at you? How angry are you about something someone said if it isn't true? Lately, these have been my feelings:
-If someone is being indirect with you, it doesn't apply to you. "If it don't apply let it fly" If they ain't saying your name, then they ain't talking to you. POINT BLANK PERIOD.
-If a person actually has some balls and says your name in a status/ have to thank them for thinking highly enough of you that you're worthy of so much od their attention. They're making you famous.
-You can't get angry about a person talking about you directly because all of that public attention they gave you and 99.99% of the time..."they ain't about that life".
-If someone is over the age of 13, an indirect or direct status attacking someone is a damn shame. There will always be certain circumstances that will push someone there...I've been there, but believe me when I say that I don't ever want to be there again! Adult conduct is appreciated!
-If someone is not laying a hand on you, then everything they're saying is irrelevant. I'm simply telling people in 2011 "You can show me better than you can tell me." I haven't said it yet but I bet that once I do tsay that to someone...the talking will continue and I won't be showed anything at all.
Most everything is a bluff from my experience!

Tell me what negativity has accomplished. I'll wait..........................exactly.

When you prioritize, a beef that's never going to get cooked is irrelevant. When shots are fired, look at the shooter...what's they're life like? Are they worth your time? Are you sure you want to validate them?

Lex Luger tweeted:
"never seen nor met a hater who did or has more than me ....... #PERIOD"

Need I say more?

Monday, April 11, 2011

*take the time out to read my blog is greatly appreciated by me.
And how rude of me, right now, 4/11/11 at 10:34pm, I have 395 views. It really warms my heart! I don't care if it's my mom on every view, the fact that you take time out it greatly appreciated by me. Thank you! I love you <3
Ok, I've been slacking but it's not a lack of material! I have 10 blogs on hand right now but if I'm not feeling it, I can't post. It's the perfectionist in me. Have patience, I'm a piece of work. :)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Unfortunate to Never Have Been Unfortunate...

Sooo, philosophy has been kicking my butt all semester but it really is an interesting subject and sometimes I overly enjoy it :)! Some of the quotes, questions, and material is post-worthy but I wouldn't kill anyone with my weird obsessions! I promise! This was pretty good though, a quote from an ancient (and famous) philosopher named, Seneca. The quote is:

"I count you unfortunate because you have never been unfortunate."

Below is my test, an essay test that we basically have to state if we do or do not agree with Seneca's quote. Enjoy! And excuse my grammor, I'm just a major, not a master. :)

I absolutely agree with Seneca's quote. Life is full of lessons, they'll never be written on a chalkboard or listed in a book, they will be experiences. Good and bad experiences which will challenge you to grow and learn and ultimately become a better person. Not everyone will take something out of experience, because depending on who they are and how they are due to their upbringing and development, they may not see that something can be learned. They see mistakes as accidents that were inevitable, when an action of theirs or someone elses may have caused the mistake which could have been avoided. Thus, knowing what action could have been avoied could prevent the same mistake from happening, rather than failing to see what could have been learned from that situation. When it comes to this quote, there are many sides. For one, it is extremely hard to realize how good something or someone may be if you have never experienced the opposite of that something or someone. For instance, a woman who has grown up poor would more than likely be content with a husband who is middle-class than a woman who was brought up in a middle-class or upper-class family. People who always prosper, who don't experience bad things, who have never faced any traumatic situations probably won't ever get to experience the real beauty of things, can they become wise if there are no situations or experiences to gain knowledge of life from? Can a person who has never experienced the death of a parent, counsel a person who recently suffered the loss of their mother? Can a person who has never been involved in gang activities convince a teen involved in a gang to change the way he is living? We hear the word credentials and we began to think of professional credentials, but life credentials also exist. What have we overcome? What hardship did we work through to be a stronger person? This has nothing to do with rich or poor, because illness/death/ can happen to any and everyone. But how can we appreciate the valuie of something if we have no idea what value is?