Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lying is Selfish. Period.

When I think of lying, a few things (and people) come to mind! We all know liars, and whether we admit it or not, WE all lie. Liars come in just about every kind, no matter gender or race or age or anything else, no one is excluded. There are the lies that get us out of trouble or help us avoid certain situations. We'll lie to authority in a minute to save our behinds! Lies help us sometimes, they can be affective and that is why we utilize them. We lie to spare people's feelings because we know the truth hurts so we withhold our true thoughts and feelings or even another's to prevent hurt. We exaggerate, to make a story more colorful or entertaining or more convincing. We lie to make ourselves look better or seem better for whatever reason. We lie to come up on something, whether it be money or sex or a person or a job. We lie to our significant others because we're doing things that we know we're not supposed to be doing. And last, but not least, because these are the worst liars that there are...and I refuse to make this a WE situation because these people are horrible...
They're the people who will call you out of the blue to tell you a totally made up story, or volunteer lies without even a question asked that they feel pressured to lie about. We all have those people in our lives that no matter what they say, even if we seen it with our own eyes, we can't believe them. You never understand why they're lying because there was really no logical reason or personal gain that could come out of the lie. These people frustrate you! You can't, don't, and won't deal with these people...or will you? You tend to avoid them by all means...or do you? Why can't we put up with a lying friend or family member but we'll stand by a lying spouse? I have a cousin and a friend that I can't deal with because their whole lives are a lie, but I dealt with a horrible liar for a while. He volunteered lies with or without a question asked by me. All of our time was spent with me calling him a liar and him saying "you think I'm always lying", but he was. When someone believed him, I would be shocked in my heart (lol). My aunt Mimi once posted this:

"I don't lie because people only lie when they're scared, and I ain't scared of nothing."

When our significant other(s) lie to us, do we somehow get a high out of it? Satisfaction, even? Do we feel like they are scared of us? Or do we get a feeling like they care enough about us to lie in order to spare our feelings or make us feel good? Does our "boo" lying to us give us a sense of grandeur? If so, let me reroute your thinking: No matter what someone feels they are lying for, in their subconscious they are lying for PERSONAL GAIN. So, no, they're not lying to spare your feelings, they're lying to keep their ass out of trouble so they can continue to be happy and get their needs fulfilled. We can't ever forget that a lie is selfish. Can't deny it either! Someone can tell theirself that they're lying to protect their friend from hurt, you're not, you just don't want to be the bad don't want to do the dirty work. You're avoiding the situation no matter how much you want to deny it. SELFISH. A lie has and always will be for personal gain. There is the exception: legal diagnosis, lying diseases:

-Pseudologia fantastica: a term applied by psychiatrists to the behavior of habitual (by habit) or compulsive (uncontrollable) lying

-Mythomania: condition where there is an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating

That's a whole different argument because few people are actually legally diagnosed. Something to think about is that studies show that it takes longer to tell a lie than to tell the truth and it's more work to lie and the extra problems and situations created just adds to that stress. The point is that if you're lying, it's usually because you're doing something you're not supposed to. WHY LIE?

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